Don't be afraid to disagree with a choice. It can be loads of fun to debate the merits of one fandom against another or even one type of car or another and can lead to more revealing conversations. The easiest conversation kick-starter is asking your boyfriend what's up? If they say "nothing," then you can always switch to "wanna hear something funny that happened today?
Avoid yes and no questions because you want to start a conversation, not just get an answer. Use anecdotes to get the conversation going:. Video games are always good conversation starters, but if you hate them be wary about bringing them up.
Most gamers can chat about their favorites for hours. One way to really get to know your boyfriend is to encourage him to talk about himself. Ask your boyfriend about his childhood, his parents and siblings. Have him share memories, both good and bad, about growing up. You'll find that by doing this, you'll have a better understanding of him and the person he is today. Sometimes the best conversation starters can be just talking about yourself. Tell him about a favorite aunt or that crazy road trip you took with your grandmother.
Give him an opportunity to share a similar story. Notice how you feel when you talk to your boyfriend. Are you energized and excited or bored and distracted? The key is not only finding things to talk about, but also enjoying his company. A great deal of time is spent doing normal daily things in a relationship, and being able to have conversations, as well as enjoy the silence in the less exciting moments, is important.
If you're having a hard time finding things to talk about with your boyfriend, this dead end might be an indication that it's time to reevaluate your relationship. Talk to Your Boyfriend Like He's Your Friend From casual matters to more serious subjects, choose conversation topics that build your relationship.
Breaking the Ice Sometimes the hardest conversations to have are those first ones when you're just getting to know each other and you're not sure what to say. Other great topics to discuss include: Weekend plans - His and yours Favorite day of the week - Is Friday your favorite day because you don't have to get up early on Saturday?
Shopping - Some guys like shopping, depending on the store. So, it doesn't hurt to ask about it, or you can even kick it off with a question about the latest video game system or smartphone. The simplest route to starting the conversation is: "Hey, how are you?
What are you up to? Would you like to…? Understanding Each Other's Personalities To get close to your boyfriend, it's important to get to know each other's unique personalities. You can explore: Get to know what makes him tick and how he processes information- You can ask, "When you have a big decision to make, how do you decide what to do or how to handle the situation?
This can give you some information about how he views relationships, and how relationships were modeled to him during his childhood. Ask him if there's ever been a time where he struggled with an unhealthy relationship and what that was like for him.
Explore what he thinks makes a solid relationship and what factors contribute to not so good relationships. One of the best ways to get to know someone's true self is to find out information about their closest friends.
Ask him what his best friends are like and how they like to spend time together. Ask him about what he tends to notice first when he sees a person, a work of art, and something in nature.
Ask him if he's ever had to give something up and what that was like for him. Talk to him about if there's anything he has done or missed out on that he regrets. Talk about a time where he felt super proud of himself and why. This will give you some insight into what he values. Discuss whether he's an internal or external processer and if he's ever had any difficulty with how he processes.
No breakups, no exes , tears and fights here. Look into your recent or distant past, and see if you can come up with at least 3 things that recently happened with your girlfriend. This is one of those dating tips for men that always work. Good things to talk about include:. Does your conversation remind you of a funny story you heard in the past?
Positive humor use has been found to create more satisfying relationships between couples. Does the current situation remind you of a positive experience in the past? Bring it up — not only will you lighten the mood, but your girlfriend might be enticed to bring up an experience or two of her own, as well. I told you it was easy. These often form the best topics of conversation. Good things to talk about the present include:. The more interesting or busy your life is, the more there is to talk about!
This is also very easy — you can ask her how her day went. Understanding women want to share their day is a big key to success with women. But what if you are both busy at work? Then sending her quick messages over text on the phone asking her about her day is a great start, at least until you next meet up. Are you hungry? Tell her! Tips for women: Listen to your man!
This is a freebie. Be sure to give it to her. Are you both experiencing something at the same time? Talk about it. Give your opinion, and then ask her for hers. Ah, TV. Love and relationships are sometimes built on mundane activities! Start with the 36 questions that lead to love, from The New York Times.
You might also turn it into ritual to answer one night a week while eating dinner, as a way of checking in and reconnecting. Annestedt, LCSW , a licensed clinical social worker, tells Bustle, while also helping you step out of a boring routine.
Because really, who doesn't love game night? How often do you watch a show together, then turn off the TV and go your separate ways? If you answered "always," you're missing out on a prime opportunity to talk about what you just watched, Alysha Perlman, LCSW , a licensed clinical social worker, tells Bustle. Since couples historically dislike talking about money , chances are you haven't discussed finances lately — if at all.
So if you're at a loss for what to talk about, this might be your ticket. In fact, she recommends setting monthly "budgeting dates" to check in and see how you're both feeling about things you split or share as a couple, like a joint savings account or bills. There will be moments of silence in your relationship, as well as moments of great conversation and deeper discussions. Find a balance between the three, don't force it, and chances are you'll never run out of things to say.
Josh Klapow , a clinical psychologist. Marlene Caroselli , author and speaker. Anjani Amladi, MD , board-certified adult psychiatrist. Dan Munro , confidence and relationship coach. Stef Safran , relationship expert. Jonathan Bennett , relationship and dating expert. Ashley L. Annestedt, LCSW , licensed clinical social worker. Andrea Woroch , finance and budgeting expert. Stacey Greene , relationship expert and author. This article was originally published on November 22, By Carolyn Steber.
Updated: November 5, Originally Published: November 22, Get Into A Healthy Debate If it feels like your conversations have screeched to a halt, try stirring up a healthy debate. Ask About Their Day This is a conversation you can have every single day.
Talk About The Past On the flip side, the past is also an untapped source for good stories. Play The Question Game Have you ever played the question game?
Tell Each Other Exactly How You Feel If you can't shake the nagging feeling you've "run out of things to say," Munro says it's often a sign you're keeping your cards too close to your chest, and not letting each other in.
Share Random Thoughts In the same vein, consider sharing "random" thoughts and emotions, even if they don't seem conversation-worthy. Talk About Physical Intimacy This is a topic you should be chatting about regularly, to make sure you're both happy and on the same page.
Ask Them What They'd Change If your partner could change one thing from their past, what would it be? Talk About Regrets Similarly, you can learn more about each other's pasts by chatting about regrets. Chat About A New Hobby Life can certainly feel monotonous when you're following the same schedule day in and day out. Learn More About What Influences Them Ask about heroes, or people or things that influence your partner, including family members, favorite authors, political figures, etc.
Ask About Their Ideal Career It's easy to get stuck in a career field for the paycheck, instead of for the passion. Admit To Embarrassing Moments Another way to make each other laugh? Choose A Conversation Starter When in doubt, turn to the trusty internet for some couple-y questions, as a way of finding new things to talk about, Sarit Fassazadeh, LCSW , a licensed clinical social worker, tells Bustle.
Get Real About Money Since couples historically dislike talking about money , chances are you haven't discussed finances lately — if at all.
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